Part five contains mostly arbitrary items.

• Windows
  It’s ugly, unreliable, and expensive. I’m forced to use Windows XP at work and I cannot stand looking at it anymore. The ugly gray taskbar…eww! And even the new, XP, blue/green/silver taskbars are plain. Vista looks a little better, but it’s still not customizable. But none of this matters when Windows can’t stop freezing long enough to save a Word document.
• Tiny portions and artful abortions
  Truth be told, I have no taste. But, I hate those tiny portions and your artful abortions, especially those that are of sound and sealed with a kiss. And they’re always so slathered in the sauce sarcastic. Whatever—go choke on your irony.
• My phone
  Calling it a phone is really an overstatement. It’s more of a watch or an alarm clock. It drops calls like that’s its job—I can’t even use it inside for this reason. If cell-phone manufacturers keep making phones like mine, land−line companies have nothing to worry about, because my phone cannot even compete with a land−line phone when it comes to indoor usage.
  UPDATE: I smashed the phone!
• SUVs
  They’re so big, stupid, and unnecessary. That’s it. Big, stupid, and unnecessary.
• Stores
  $20 for a SATA cable at Best Buy? Are you serious? They cost $2 online! And employees at Radio Shack don’t even know what a SATA cable is.

Tom Sokolowski & Mark Sokolowski

(better known as The Twins at American Indoor Street Hockey Center)

Two great kids and the best roller hockey players I know—it will never be the same without them.

Buffalo News article
WGRZ article

I had to rewrite this because I, in usual fashion, overwrote the only copy of it with the next part. But don’t worry, this new version is much better than the original.

• Bugs
  Every week, one (and only one) fly gets into my apartment. This has been going on for at least five weeks. And they just fly around with their stupid, egotistical, holier−than−thou buzzing. BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ. I’ve got it, you can fly, so just go eat it!
  UPDATE: This week, there were three flies in my apartment. I think they are planning a coup.
• MTP
  It stands for media−transfer protocol and all you need to know is that it’s Microsoft’s unnecessary, unreliable, proprietary replacement for a reliable and better−supported protocol. Awesome.
• People who want to fight in roller hockey
  When you get into a fight in a sport for which everyone paid to play, you look really cool—about as cool as someone who gets into a fight at a church or at a restaurant. But at least the fights are for noble causes such as being angry that your team blows, being angry that you haven’t scored yet, or being angry that you waste all your time playing Sunday afternoon recreational adult−league roller hockey.
• People who score too much in roller hockey
  It is very important that you score 35 goals against a team that hasn’t scored that many goals over the entire season, because, if you you don’t, you’ll look like a big tool, which you are anyway.
• Their proficient knots
  They fit you in a box. They tie it with their proficient knots to keep you in the dark. This really grinds my gears.

http://www.icorey.com/images/blog/knots.png is not copyright (nor was it created by me)

This is a two−part series about the things that I love (except for all those cliché, overdone things like family, friends, and good health). I came up with this list because I wanted to look a little human after making a list of 30 things I hate.

• Say Anything
  It is an amazing band and anyone I talk to knows about my furious fascination with them and how I like to interject their lyrics into conversations, my website, and anything else I can get my hands on.
• Blankets
  They keep you warm AND snug. What more can one ask for?
• Buffalo Sabres
  How could I not love the best team in the NHL?
• Chicken Wings
  Chicken wings combine the sweet taste of candy with the warmth of a heated meal and the protein of … chicken. Plus, they were invented in Buffalo!
• Linux
  Well, it’s free, customizable, and works better than any operating system that’s commercially available. Of all the linuxes, Gentoo Linux is my favorite brand of Linux.

Part three of six: Entertainment and TV

• Spin
  Not the magazine—spinning news items to make them reflect contradictory ideas. It’s lying. I hate it in all of it’s stupid forms and it usually just involves placing the blame on someone else. Because of spin, news, politics, and so many other things are not at all accountable. I include this with entertainment and television because it seems to be most prevalent in those industries.
• Sports analysts
  They’re dumb. Just listen to them—actually, that might be a bad idea lest their dumbness rub off on you. Just take my word for it.
• TV news
  TV news was discovered while digging in Mayan ruins. When it was found, it had already been replaced by the internet, which allows news−seekers to filter out all the crap and garbage they don’t care about, like human−interest stories, corporate−sponsored studies, and entertainment news. Today, the only people that watch TV news are senior citizens and convicts.
• Most TV shows
  I tried to think of one show so horrible that it could burn the eyebrows clear off your head, but it’s too difficult to pick only one.
• Entertainment news
  Celebrities are not important and they should not be influential (i.e. Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, etc.). These shows have not yet figured this out.