This final installment is not a hate list, but rather a collection of generic types of people that bother me.

Duty Calls from xkcd.

• Internet people
  The anonymity available on the internet makes people even more belligerent and stupid than in person.
• People who stay on the phone too long when in the company of others
  I hate when a person gets a call—or worse, places a call—while with other people and refuses to get off the phone. If it’s an emergency or a very quick call (30 seconds to one minute, not including dialing and connection), go for it. Otherwise, suck it up and try to extract some conversation from your cranial cave.
• Fake people
  This includes people who exaggerate things beyond belief, people who make things up and present them as fact, and people who talk only to be heard. Listening to such people annoys me, so I usually choose not to listen to them.
• Kids
  They’re always running around, steppin’ all over my lawn. It’s unbearable.
• Molly Connolly
  Here I am laid down at the end of my rope. I’ve lost all hope; so long. Molly Connolly just broke up with me over the revealing nature of the posts.

Part five contains mostly arbitrary items.

• Windows
  It’s ugly, unreliable, and expensive. I’m forced to use Windows XP at work and I cannot stand looking at it anymore. The ugly gray taskbar…eww! And even the new, XP, blue/green/silver taskbars are plain. Vista looks a little better, but it’s still not customizable. But none of this matters when Windows can’t stop freezing long enough to save a Word document.
• Tiny portions and artful abortions
  Truth be told, I have no taste. But, I hate those tiny portions and your artful abortions, especially those that are of sound and sealed with a kiss. And they’re always so slathered in the sauce sarcastic. Whatever—go choke on your irony.
• My phone
  Calling it a phone is really an overstatement. It’s more of a watch or an alarm clock. It drops calls like that’s its job—I can’t even use it inside for this reason. If cell-phone manufacturers keep making phones like mine, land−line companies have nothing to worry about, because my phone cannot even compete with a land−line phone when it comes to indoor usage.
  UPDATE: I smashed the phone!
• SUVs
  They’re so big, stupid, and unnecessary. That’s it. Big, stupid, and unnecessary.
• Stores
  $20 for a SATA cable at Best Buy? Are you serious? They cost $2 online! And employees at Radio Shack don’t even know what a SATA cable is.

I had to rewrite this because I, in usual fashion, overwrote the only copy of it with the next part. But don’t worry, this new version is much better than the original.

• Bugs
  Every week, one (and only one) fly gets into my apartment. This has been going on for at least five weeks. And they just fly around with their stupid, egotistical, holier−than−thou buzzing. BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ. I’ve got it, you can fly, so just go eat it!
  UPDATE: This week, there were three flies in my apartment. I think they are planning a coup.
• MTP
  It stands for media−transfer protocol and all you need to know is that it’s Microsoft’s unnecessary, unreliable, proprietary replacement for a reliable and better−supported protocol. Awesome.
• People who want to fight in roller hockey
  When you get into a fight in a sport for which everyone paid to play, you look really cool—about as cool as someone who gets into a fight at a church or at a restaurant. But at least the fights are for noble causes such as being angry that your team blows, being angry that you haven’t scored yet, or being angry that you waste all your time playing Sunday afternoon recreational adult−league roller hockey.
• People who score too much in roller hockey
  It is very important that you score 35 goals against a team that hasn’t scored that many goals over the entire season, because, if you you don’t, you’ll look like a big tool, which you are anyway.
• Their proficient knots
  They fit you in a box. They tie it with their proficient knots to keep you in the dark. This really grinds my gears.

http://www.icorey.com/images/blog/knots.png is not copyright (nor was it created by me)

Part three of six: Entertainment and TV

• Spin
  Not the magazine—spinning news items to make them reflect contradictory ideas. It’s lying. I hate it in all of it’s stupid forms and it usually just involves placing the blame on someone else. Because of spin, news, politics, and so many other things are not at all accountable. I include this with entertainment and television because it seems to be most prevalent in those industries.
• Sports analysts
  They’re dumb. Just listen to them—actually, that might be a bad idea lest their dumbness rub off on you. Just take my word for it.
• TV news
  TV news was discovered while digging in Mayan ruins. When it was found, it had already been replaced by the internet, which allows news−seekers to filter out all the crap and garbage they don’t care about, like human−interest stories, corporate−sponsored studies, and entertainment news. Today, the only people that watch TV news are senior citizens and convicts.
• Most TV shows
  I tried to think of one show so horrible that it could burn the eyebrows clear off your head, but it’s too difficult to pick only one.
• Entertainment news
  Celebrities are not important and they should not be influential (i.e. Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, etc.). These shows have not yet figured this out.

Here’s part two of six, complete with a driving theme.

• When I drive at 66 mph and still need to pass people
  I drive very close to the speed limits on highways (usually) in an effort to use less gas. Still, at least once per trip and usually several times per trip, I encounter someone going about 60 mph on 65−mph−speed−limit highways. One time, someone like this passed me going about 70 mph. Five minutes later, the car was going about 60 mph and the driver and passenger were clearly hitting each other.
• People that drive through parking spots
  These people drive like they are wearing blinders. I never see them turn their heads. They just keep going straight through parking spots, hoping no one has the courage or lack of attention to cruise right into them. When I see people do this, I imagine them having this sense of entitlement, like the lines on the road somehow do not apply to them and everyone else should stop for them so they may continue being stupid and blissfully unaware.
• People that pass me and then slow down
  It’s called cruise control. Or, if you’re like me, you have a nice resume button that lets you speed up and then resume your previous speed. Luckily, this hasn’t happened in awhile. People must be getting smarter or driving less (if there’s a difference).
• People that don’t let me merge
  The lane is ending and I need to get over there. Oh, but don’t slow down or speed up so I can merge. As long as you get to where you’re going with the least amount of trouble, I’m happy for you, even if I must stop at the end of the lane or just drive into a guide rail.
• Driving (in general)
  This morning, while at a red light in the right-most lane waiting to turn right with my right-turn signal on, some jerk in a box truck felt the need to beep at me for about 15 seconds (total). As far as I know, whether I turn or not in a situation like that is completely up to me. Also, there was a No−Turn−On−Red sign at the intersection. Garfield, the wily cartoon cat, had a saying about dragging people into the street and shooting them that seemed very appropriate (he used to be very violent…and funny). A couple minutes later where I turn right onto Broad St., a dump truck was pulled over on the side of the road. I went in the left lane so I could pass him and get back in the right lane to make my turn. Unfortunately, once I was in the left lane, I found out he was behind a line of cars waiting to make right-hand turns, something I might have thought of if the dump−truck driver had his turn signal on. I ended up turning in front of the truck from the left lane.